Yes we can, Yes we can....

Ive been very busy lately.

The Political societies i run at uni have been busy/declining in numbers, so my workload for it has been skyhigh.

We had Student union elections over the last two weeks and i had been campaigning for a candidate for president. I dont agree with all his policies, but he is the most political candidate and is gonna make some debates happen that are needed. From my experiance, i trust him to do what he promises. I also got to interview two people running for a position and managed to get them fiercely debating at some points. Made for some exciting radio :D.

On results night, we all met in the union, and drank untill the results came out. We got almost all the results we wanted and, i can say, it is the closest to an Obama-style election as i will probably ever get. What was also nice, was that this really cute girl was there.....

I didnt get anything from her, but god, i was infatuated for the evening. It was probably the alcohol, but she had nice long brown hair, was quite small, but had big boobs :D which is always a good combination, and worse this white and blue top which distracted me for alot of the night.

Its another thing going on in my life. Its not even summer yet and im horny as fuck! I sit in lectures and capture a glimpse of cleavage or just the shape or boobs and im gone.

I really should have more to write, but my minds ablank.

I guess ill have to write alittle bit more often.

Now Playing: Mumford & sons- Little Lion Man

I need to leave the city....

I have been thinking alot about the past recently. I think it started with a scout group girl coming up to me at refreshers faire at Uni. It rekindled my love of the outside. I miss climbing trees and camping. I think im sort of waiting for the summer. I know i need to arrange work experiance for it, but im waiting to be able to wear shorts and t shirts out and not be freezing my balls off. Im waiting for some hastily arranged dusk kick arounds.

This is the worst time of year for many people i think. Its not winter, and its not summer. The weather changes every two seconds. Im lacking a consistancy i need in my life.

Watching "40 days of riot", the Paramore documentary, i saw them just hanging out and being outside. As much as i am envious of them for being able to play music for a living, being able to write music like that etc etc, all i could think of in that documentary was "i really want it to be summer so i can chill with my friends back home." You dont seem to get the same friendships at uni as you do back home. Well, i dont, others seem to.

Im not so much feeling lonely as i am feeling i want something more. I am really missing my ex at the minute. I know ive said things like this alot, but im really missing the hugs. She always said that she felt safe in my arms like i was protecting her, but i guess she was protecting me. Like a little brown haired riot shield. Poetic, i know. We have been getting on well and are meeting up soon, but i think im foolish to expect anything to come from it soon or ever. Sometimes i get the feeling she still has feelings for me. I know she cares, but sometimes i feel theres more. Other times, like now, im thinking im seeing what i want to see and not what is there. I dont want to sacrifice the pleasantries and nice talks we are having by getting pissy about it. I just thought then, but are we having good talks? Does simply talking after a time of non-communication count as good talks or just being civil? I dont know, she responds with x's and she responded with a smiley face when i said "see you my friend" last time we spoke. Then again, maybe the smiley was to confirm, we are just friends. God, i want to be more than that again. One chance is all i need. But i cant expect her to force herself to try with me again untill she has those feelings, if she ever does, and it was a ball buster to get her to go out with me the first time. I just feel im at the position at the minute that there is no one else to replace her in my life. No one has quite measured up to her in the ways of caring for me, for me, not for them. Others have seen me more as a rock than a partner, and im not comfortable being in a relationship where one person is taking from me, more than they are giving me.

Oddly, at this time of feeling that way about one thing, ive felt really comfortable with my friends at uni. Too comfortable in my opinion, but its feeling good.

Now Playing: Paramore- Looking up

Pause it and turn it up.

Man, i've been real busy. I am a wanted man. I have been heading up a campaign against the cuts in the university and im exhuasted. Truely tired. Meeting after meeting, and leafleting after leafleting and i get the point where im wondering if its all worth it.Im starting to resent the fact students are so apathetic. For every 10 people i mention the cuts to 8 will be polite but not care. 1 will argue against me and one will argue with me. I see groups of people drinking and laughing and i think, "i want to revert to that and be a little more carefree." But then i think, this is something im passionate about. I want to fight and i want to get people active and talking, I also am not too keen to pay much more for uni when being offered much less. :D Its taken over my life for the past two weeks solidly and im starting to forget im a student. I sometimes feel that i am a full time activist. Not so much a bad feeling, but im not sure its a career i would want to pursue.On the love front, I thought i was there. I had been talking to a female for the past few weeks and it was good. I mean, first it was all talks about sex. To start with, i got the idea that we would be fuck buddies or something. Then she said the immortal words "i wanna get to know you." I was crushed. But not to be put off (and i was really horny) i played ball (not the best way to put it). Then i started to like her some more. We both seemed to like eachother. Not often that happens to me. Then, all of a sudden, Bam! Bi-polar city. Not me (shock, horror!) but her. Seriously, just completely drained of confidence. She was so dark, and still is at the minute. She kept mentioning how much she wants to meet me, but this really isnt for me. All the sexual confidence she demonstrated was gone. "i only ever have sex in the dark" she said. "i have always felt in life guys have always wanted more than i wanted. When i wanted a hug, they wanted sex and i was too afraid to say otherwise incase they left me" she said. Well, know im kinda stuck. I cant fuck her and run, or stay and be less serious. I cant just run, And if i do stay i feel as if i will be sucked into being her rock. Im in the process of going back to just friends. I think thats best.After being rejected by a girl in a bar that has reportedly been after me for a while now, and then my housemate getting with the girl i was trying for in a bar, im feeling as if my dick is being wasted. I am in two thoughts. I wanna fuck. And, i wanna find someone and be something more. As more girls i get close to say how good of a friend i am to them, im feeling alittle wasted. Thankfully, with all this cuts stuff im too busy to really truely care. Although i am getting alittle jealous everytime i see guys with cute girls with red hair. Those girls seem more common now. I like it :DAll in all, life aint too bad right now. Maybe im on a high or maybe im just happy. Who knows, and who cares?

Now Playing: Cold days from the birdhouse- The Twilight sad