Pause it and turn it up.

Man, i've been real busy. I am a wanted man. I have been heading up a campaign against the cuts in the university and im exhuasted. Truely tired. Meeting after meeting, and leafleting after leafleting and i get the point where im wondering if its all worth it.Im starting to resent the fact students are so apathetic. For every 10 people i mention the cuts to 8 will be polite but not care. 1 will argue against me and one will argue with me. I see groups of people drinking and laughing and i think, "i want to revert to that and be a little more carefree." But then i think, this is something im passionate about. I want to fight and i want to get people active and talking, I also am not too keen to pay much more for uni when being offered much less. :D Its taken over my life for the past two weeks solidly and im starting to forget im a student. I sometimes feel that i am a full time activist. Not so much a bad feeling, but im not sure its a career i would want to pursue.On the love front, I thought i was there. I had been talking to a female for the past few weeks and it was good. I mean, first it was all talks about sex. To start with, i got the idea that we would be fuck buddies or something. Then she said the immortal words "i wanna get to know you." I was crushed. But not to be put off (and i was really horny) i played ball (not the best way to put it). Then i started to like her some more. We both seemed to like eachother. Not often that happens to me. Then, all of a sudden, Bam! Bi-polar city. Not me (shock, horror!) but her. Seriously, just completely drained of confidence. She was so dark, and still is at the minute. She kept mentioning how much she wants to meet me, but this really isnt for me. All the sexual confidence she demonstrated was gone. "i only ever have sex in the dark" she said. "i have always felt in life guys have always wanted more than i wanted. When i wanted a hug, they wanted sex and i was too afraid to say otherwise incase they left me" she said. Well, know im kinda stuck. I cant fuck her and run, or stay and be less serious. I cant just run, And if i do stay i feel as if i will be sucked into being her rock. Im in the process of going back to just friends. I think thats best.After being rejected by a girl in a bar that has reportedly been after me for a while now, and then my housemate getting with the girl i was trying for in a bar, im feeling as if my dick is being wasted. I am in two thoughts. I wanna fuck. And, i wanna find someone and be something more. As more girls i get close to say how good of a friend i am to them, im feeling alittle wasted. Thankfully, with all this cuts stuff im too busy to really truely care. Although i am getting alittle jealous everytime i see guys with cute girls with red hair. Those girls seem more common now. I like it :DAll in all, life aint too bad right now. Maybe im on a high or maybe im just happy. Who knows, and who cares?

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